Yearning to Crawl
by SCMA Member Gerry Cox

Road trip! We had it comin’. In the plush cabin accommodation on one of this year’s June Lake ice-climbing trips, Mexican Lou (Wilson) started talking up a trip to Ouray. Only ten hours drive from LA and rooms with two queen beds for $55 a night. A two-minute approach and waterfalls to rival any fabled milk and honey in California. Hot springs, vapor caves, an old-West mining town with Victorian-style homes and incredible Rocky Mountain scenery. The only other thing that we could hope for was that Mardi Gras was still being celebrated there with nudity in the streets. Of course, those who attended (Those with jobs, I should say) would have to take at least two days, minimum, other than the usual weekend. Well, email flew daily in the best use possible of bandwidth, and eventually an Olympic-size carpool was formed consisting of Mexican Lou, Liz, Ying, Steve Cole and myself.

We would be racing Spring for the last (easily-approached) ice of the season. The employed wound up taking four work days off to stretch the weekend. The unemployed and retired somehow managed to fit the trip into their busy schedules. With plenty of sick leave to burn, I felt a terrible illness coming on (sniffle…cough!). Subjecting myself to four days of ice and then a one-day work week helped to lick that illness, and certainly left me in much better mental health (perhaps I just had the ice jones). We would spend a day on each end just driving, and then four days to climb ice. The only downfall to all of this was that some of those interested had Snow School 101 on the starting weekend. Next year we’ll plan Colorado ice earlier and maybe SS101 later. That should fix things.

Starting in the wee hours from Tijuana, Orange County, Long Beach and West LA, we met in San Berdoo to park a vehicle at the Thau residence. John met us at the door with much welcomed hot coffee and tea. (Thank you very much.) After a quick repack, we were on our way. Taking turns at the wheel, we landed in Ouray --Population 700-- thirteen hours later. It was Spring Break, and four busloads of Southern Baptist kids from Texas had scored the cheap accommodations. Well, I guessed that we wouldn’t be subject to any wild hot tub parties on their behalf. We would have to settle for a cabin outside of town. Our "cabin" was plush with a fireplace, three bedrooms and a couple of baths. There was a fridge magnet pointing the way to "Eclectic Cowboy Gourmet Cuisine" in nearby Ridgway. This we would have to try. We allocated the master bedroom and bath to Liz so she wouldn’t have to share with three guys (really, so WE wouldn’t have to put the seat down every time we finished using the head). Next, we spent the first couple of hours getting the heat to work. Yeah, the fireplace was nice, but we soon learned how to give the furnace solenoid a knock to get it started. That night we feasted on Mexican Lou’s homemade fajitas, replete with handmade tortillas. Then it was time to celebrate a little. We crashed in the wee hours after almost twenty-four hours of travails and tribulations.

We woke early enough for a SoCal Alpine Start (mid-morning) and stopped in the local mountain shop for last minute items like leashes and holsters. Only then did we make our way to the Ice Park in the Uncompahgre Gorge. As we arrived, we’d have pierced our tongues if we’d been wearing crampons at the time. Here we found more than forty formations of ice along a half-mile of gorge. Well now, that settles it, we are definitely in danger of having to climb something. And climb we did…a half dozen pitches of WI 3 and WI 4 was a good tune-up for things to come. This night, we got to chow on more homemade food and see some photos, compliments of Steve’s skills in electrical engineering and gear in digital photography. Tools got sharpened and gear got dried, we were ready for another day. We found that Liz’s monopoints were a little funky and off-kilter, and reworked them to the dual points. Using an even number of odd-sized spacers (and no directions), we eventually (hours) came up with something that was equally and evenly spaced. In the process, we added the heel spurs that came with her crampons. The images conjured of her with (hammer) holsters and (crampon) spurs were something to try to capture on film. If only we could get her to wear those yellow shorts, it would have been perfect. (Really, you HAD to be there. Further implications might be taken the wrong way.) We all tried getting to bed a little earlier, but it didn’t help us to wake much earlier.

The next day I discovered that one of my boots had blown a pivot-rivet in the articulating cuff. To repair it, I spent half the day in Montrose, a town 35 miles away, only to wind up using aluminum T-nuts and Loc-Tite®. The whole repair cost less than five bucks, and most of that was for the Loc-Tite®. I only got in three pitches, but took over an unfinished lead to warm-up on. (Not too shabby.) I wanted to climb some more, but was reminded that it was almost dark. I relented. (Who do I think I am anyway…Dave German?) After some tasty leftovers and duct-tape rope repair (photos below), we went for a soak in the 105° pool at the Vic (Victorian Inn). After all, we were paying for it, and it was lovely.

The following day, we top-roped a beautiful vertical WI 4+ called Tangled Up In Blue (photos below). It was 120’ of steep-to-overhanging ice. Situated within 100’ of a bridge, it is one of the most photographed routes in the Ice Park. It was certainly the most strenuous thing that we had climbed, and one cameraman showed that his expertise didn’t quite extend to video in that the camcorder was turned on its side to get the image in a vertical format. (You only have to turn your TV [or your head] on its side to see it best.)

After this we took a side trip to Telluride to drool over the Bridalveil Falls. There is 600’ of WI 5 to be climbed, and you’d better be ready to rap on your own V-threads to get back to the ground. We didn’t climb, however we DID pick up a copy of the waiver required in order to climb on Bridalveil. We shopped some, and found some lovely fleece hats in the styles of a kofi and a tam o’shanter. We picked up more duct-tape in case we had to repair any more ropes. On our way back, we stopped at Drake’s in Ridgway (the place with the "Eclectic Cowboy Gourmet Cuisine"). We had envisioned that we might ask for fresh rattlesnake with a sauce made with cilantro and sun-dried tomatoes, but what we got was spicy Seafood Etoufee, Meat Loaf and Portobello Chicken. It was very tasty, and there is a sculptor nearby who gave us a tour of his studio, including a few pieces waiting to be cast (in bronze) for the Telluride ski area (snowboarder) and the Town of Ouray (miner). One of the most endearing was of a boy seated on the edge of a porch wearing shorts with cowboy boots and holding a paper airplane. This one-of-a-kind piece was commissioned by his neighbor, and will sell for $11.5K.

Back to the Vic for another soak, and we checked out a place with a vapor cave as well as a hot spring pool. That night earlier to bed; Next morning…later to rise. What’s up with that? I think it’s an omen that we should just stay up late.

One more day to climb. Liz and Steve each completed their first ice leads. Lou was on fire and tearing up several leads. Whoever wasn’t climbing looked like a Bermuda tourist wearing and shooting an overwhelming combination of the seven cameras that were brought on this trip. To cap things, we climbed the Verminator, a WI 4 curtain that just barely makes contact with the ground. Other than just a great climb, it was a great photo op! Just as the last of us was finishing his (her?) turn, it started to snow…heavily. In the half-hour it took to pack our gear and head for the cabin, there was already 1-2 inches of snow on the highway. Back at the cabin Trader Joe’s jalapeño and tomato pasta with homemade sauce (lots of garlic) gave us fuel for the long ride home. After dinner we had one last opportunity to soak in the hot pool at the Vic. This time was different, as it was still snowing heavily and the pool was surrounded by 8" snow cliffs. Perfect for making snowballs. Steve began searching for anything that moved, and finally had to settle for the clock face tower on the roof of the Vic. Proof photos were shot using our newly acquired "Climber Only Area" sign. Too soon it was time to head back to the cabin to prepare for the return trip. After drying and packing we conk out with an early alarm set, our only alpine start since the first day of driving.

Back we drive, tired and happy. We get some breakfast in Green River, Utah. Lunch in Mesquite, Nevada. We stop in Las Vegas to watch the Air Force Thunderbirds practice for an air show. In San Berdoo, we settle up for the week’s worth of food, gas and accommodations. It comes out to less than $250 per person. What a deal! For the time and money spent, more was gained and shared in experience, beta and friendship than could have been with most people on most trips. Everyone led and contributed in their own ways, and all were pleased to enjoy the company of everyone else involved. It couldn’t have been better had we been driving Route 66.

"Why so unforgiving? …And why so cold? Been a long time crossing The Bridge of Sighs."   ~ Robin Trower

© Copyright, 2001 Southern California Mountaineers Association. All Rights Reserved.